I am tired. I am suffering quite extreme joint and muscle pain (fairly constant for years but as yet undiagnosed). The pain has stopped me sleeping properly, hence the deep weariness. On top of this, I long deeply for things I will never have.
And yet, I am finding my way to contentment. Because I am realizing that if I got what I most want, it would make me happy for a little while … until it didn’t. If the pain stopped, I would feel great joy for a little while … until I didn’t.
I see now that happiness can come from only one place and that place isn’t dependent on any thing or person or event.