All in the Past

I had a very powerful therapy session this morning. We talked about stuff from my childhood and how it has carried forward to this day and into my current struggles. I got a new perspective that I can take into the future.

I have been realizing recently just how much I focus on what others are thinking and feeling and wanting, and how little emphasis I place on what I am thinking and feeling and wanting. I now have a better understanding of why that is.

My work this year – this project, therapy, the books I have been reading, yoga etc. – has all led me to focus more on myself … to put myself at the center of my story instead of somewhere on the periphery.

Funnily enough, I’m always at the center of anything negative (“he must be avoiding me”… “she must not like me” … “he only said that because he had to” … “they must think I’m so foolish” … etc. etc.). It’s the positive stuff I can’t accept. I never see myself as likeable, interesting, attractive, or worth knowing.

I think that shows in a lot of my portraits.

img_3634

 

Advertisements

One thought on “All in the Past

  1. Lynn Cohen

    I think you are incredibly brave, your therapy, your portraits and your openness to share it here. I feel so honored to be along on your journey in this way. I have praise for you and the very hard work you are doing with your therapist. Oh, and I continue to marvel at your art!

    Like

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s