I recently decided that one of the only ways to get over my issues was to take action. To make a plan and then carry it out, rather than sitting around dwelling on the things that make me unhappy.
Phase 1 was to get a rescue dog and focus on training and caring for him. It’s a lot of work and for a few days I wondered if I had done the wrong thing, but I think he will be good for me and he certainly limits the time I have for wallowing.
Phase 2 was to work on my spiritual health. This is something I have never focused on, but I’m finding that my combination of non-religious prayer/meditation with lots and lots of reading is really helping. It helps take me out of my own head, it makes me less selfish and it reminds me that what I want isn’t always what is actually the best thing for me and for other people.
Phase 3 is working on my physical health. If I am to start treating myself right, I need to treat my body better than I have been doing. So I joined a gym and today I went for my induction. I have a feeling that I won’t be able to move tomorrow, but hey … baby steps.
But here’s the problem. Each of these things is time-consuming. They work to halt the pity parties (because I don’t have the time or energy to hold them) but have I taken on too much? Is this the right thing to do or would I be better off just wallowing and not wearing myself out? Or going to the doc and asking for a prescription?
I have no idea. What I do know is that I had to stay up until midnight last night and then then get up today at 6am because the dog has a stomach issue and can’t last all night; then I was at the gym by 8.30 and stayed there to work out after the induction; then I had to cram a full day’s work into the remaining 5 hours (while also taking a break to entertain the dog at lunchtime) and then he needed a walk at 5pm, and now I have to make dinner … my energy for drawing myself is low, so this was done on a scrap of paper and from memory.
The good news – I haven’t really cried today and I doubt I’ll have the energy. Maybe I am doing it right after all 🙂