One of my favourite articles is this one. And the section I come back to over and over again is this:
If you get annoyed, angry, anxious or depressed every time you come across a reminder of the same fact then there’s a good chance that you haven’t got used to it being that way or fully accepted the way it is as a “fact of life” or necessary aspect of living in the real world.
I come back to it because that’s exactly my situation. I cannot – will not – accept.
I keep telling myself I have, but every time I am reminded of what I need to accept, I go right back to square one.
What I need to figure out is why I cannot just accept the reality. Just let it be what it is. After all, as the article says:
There’s a danger of complicating the acceptance of simple facts. For example, if I show you a blue chair then it simply is blue and there’s no point denying it. You can accept that it is blue without needing to understand why it is blue or asking why it cannot be some other colour when blue is what it already is.