Fighting Back

The thing about coming to know your demons is that it doesn’t make them go away.

They’re still there, hovering in the background, waiting for a chance to remind you they exist, waiting for a chance to make you sad.

But once you see what they’re up to, much of their power is gone.

“Did you see what just happened?” say the demons. “You know what that means? it means …” and the recording starts playing. The one that always ends the same way.

But, because you know what’s going on, you can say: “actually I don’t agree with that interpretation. There’s another way to look at this. And that is ….”

And the n you find yourself getting on with the rest of your day and actually quite enjoying bits of it.

One of the bits I enjoyed today was this gorgeous sketchpad I bought in Manchester.

We have a few art stores within driving distance of my country home, but nothing like they have in Manchester. A few months ago, Phil and I went to this amazing store where you descended into the basement and basically went into paper heaven. I’m used to one tall stand of paper in a store … here there was an entire floor just dedicated to paper. And one section was devoted to khadi papers, an Indian company.

Oh. My.God.

My husband was totally bemused by my need to stroke the papers and the sketchbooks, but I was in heaven.

I bought this book.


Just look at the edges on that paper! Seriously, you could take this book to a desert island as your only companion, and be quite happy. It’s that good.

But it was so lovely that I didn’t want to spoil it. It sat there, looking beautiful in my studio for ages. Until I fell out with my regular sketchbooks and decided to experiment.

Let me just say that this paper is just as good in use as it was on show.

How can I be sad when there are sketchbooks like this in the world?




4 thoughts on “Fighting Back

  1. thebigshedart

    Want to Love this post. I see another more contented, less stressed you 🙂 And what an art shop that sounds! I found a similar aladdin’s cave near me not long ago, with a whole basement devoted to brushes. And I don’t even use paints at the moment! Tears came into my eyes and I apologised to the young assistant, saying he may have to lock me in when they close – I promised not to steal anything! – but I just needed to stare, and touch, and drown in longing… 😀 Art stores like those should be available on the NHS.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Louise Post author

      ’tis true — and only we artists can understand :). When I took the sketchbook up to the counter, the young girl serving said ‘ooh, that’s lovely! Where did you find that?’ and started stroking the paper. I think she found the right career!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Louise Post author

      HI, thanks so much! Most of these were in 5×7 moleskine watercolour sketchbooks, but I’m not experimenting with different paper and different sizes. I plan to also use a canvas for one before the year is done x



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