“Not very lifelike” scoffed my husband, looking at my latest blind selfie.
He was trying to be funny not hurtful. But once upon a time a comment like that would have hurt anyway, regardless of the intent.
The truth is that people can only hurt you if they say something that you actually believe to be valid. If someone says you’re fat and you feel thin, you will shrug it off. Ugly when you don’t think you are? No big deal. But if you overhear someone calling you fat and ugly when that’s how you feel about yourself, the pain will be intense.
So I was thrilled to discover that his joke about my selfie meant nothing. Whereas I have often needed validation for my artwork, I need none for this project. Views are few and far between on this blog and comments are even more rare. I take this to mean that my portraits are not all that interesting to others anymore, and I’m totally fine with that. I understand it.
The truth is that this is an intensely personal project. For the first time, I am making art with no intent to appeal to anyone else. And I am starting to love what I am creating, even though I know it is only meaningful for me.
So please don’t take this the wrong way, but I am drawing with my eyes closed and I really don’t give a rat’s *** what you think!
This is number 137 in a 365-day selfie challenge. You can see the whole series here.