Taking on a 365-day drawing challenge is not for the faint-hearted. I’m on day 98 now and it is sometimes hard. There are days where I’m tired, or uninspired, and many, many days when I lack the free time.
But I’ve kept to it anyway, and I plan to keep going, because – while the benefits haven’t been the ones I expected – there have been benefits.
I don’t think I’ve made any creative leaps – in fact many of my drawings have been less than I would like – but personally, I feel myself changing.
I normally don’t pay attention to myself. I worry about everyone else. I put myself last. Forcing myself to look in the mirror every day, and draw what I see has forced me to change that. I do think about myself. I do pay more attention. And paying attention has made me to realize that I am too hard on myself.
Once I tuned in to the self-talk in my head, I realized it needed to change. Who wants to hear a nagging, negative, hectoring voice every day? If I was married to a person like that, I’d want to leave. If I was friends with a person like that, I’d try to avoid their phone calls.
And so I decided to argue back when that voice started up. And once I started doing that, things began to change. I’m going out for walks again. I’m eating healthily (and I’ve lost all the weight I had gained as a result). And I’m spending more time being grateful for the many blessings I have, and less time focusing on the negatives.
I’m not claiming perfection, or that this project has turned me into a new person. But it has definitely turned me into a happier person. Or at least, into a person who can see glimpses of the possibility of happiness …. and I wouldn’t have thought that possible in January.
This is day 98 of a 365-day selfie project. You can see them all here.